A guest blog post by Beth Rush is the mindfulness editor at Body+Mind.
If you’re reading this, you or a loved one may be experiencing depression after a miscarriage. You may think postpartum depression only happens after childbirth. However, a miscarriage can lead to the same feelings of sadness and hopelessness.
Understanding Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression is a mental health condition typically experienced by new mothers. Feelings of anxiety or sadness are normal after giving birth, but if they last longer than two weeks, it may be postpartum depression.
The exact cause of postpartum depression is unclear, but changing hormone levels may contribute. Women with existing mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety may be at higher risk.
This illness may also affect women who have miscarried or experienced a stillbirth. Losing a child — even early on in pregnancy — places immense stress on mental, emotional and physical health. Going through a miscarriage can make you feel isolated, but you’re not alone. Between 10% and 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. A 2022 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health showed a 59.1% increased postpartum depression risk in women who miscarried.
Steps for Easing Postpartum Depression After a Miscarriage
A miscarriage is a traumatic event. You need to allow yourself time to come to terms with the loss. Below are tips on how to mentally heal from a miscarriage.
1. Acknowledge Your Grief
Miscarrying a child is a loss. The first step toward healing is allowing yourself to feel that loss. Accept that you will experience a wide range of emotions as you navigate grief. Let yourself feel and verbalize those emotions without self-judgment.
2. Seek Support
You may think you must manage alone or don’t want to burden others, but isolating yourself can make it difficult to heal. Trust loved ones to support you during this time. Express how you feel with family and friends. Your partner may also be experiencing grief. Lean on your support system for comfort.
Joining a support group allows you to share with others who have gone through similar losses. Organizations like the Pregnancy Loss Support Program and Star Legacy Foundation offer online or in-person meetings.
3. Consult Professionals
Seeking professional treatment can help you deal with depression after a miscarriage. Facilities exist that focus on women’s mental health. These institutions have medical staff trained in diagnosis, medication and psychotherapy. Choose a mental health professional who specializes in postpartum depression or reproductive loss.
4. Practice Self-Care
A characteristic of depression is a lack of interest in self-care. You may feel unable to get out of bed, shower or eat. At this time, it’s important to prioritize your health. Ways to take care of yourself include:
- Eating well: You may have no appetite or overeat to escape your emotions. Try to eat a healthy, balanced diet and drink plenty of water. Your physical well-being can have a positive effect on your mental state.
- Staying active: Exercise’s benefits for mood and stress management are well-documented. Whether walking the dogs or doing yoga, try to stay active.
- Getting enough rest: Depression can affect sleeping patterns, so get into a good bedtime routine. Ideas include having a bath, reading a book, or meditating.
5. Educate Yourself About Grief
Understanding the grieving process can help you feel less alone. Like the death of a loved one, grief after miscarriage may go through the five stages described by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:
- Denial: You may not want to accept that your child is gone. It may be easier to convince yourself you’re still pregnant. In this stage, you may avoid discussing the miscarriage or believe it’s a lie.
- Anger: When the reality of the loss hits you, anger can set in. You might be angry with yourself, your body, your partner or medical professionals. This anger is a normal expression of grief.
- Bargaining: In this stage, you obsess over ways to change the outcome. You may believe that if you had done something differently, you might not have miscarried.
- Depression: The initial stages of grief are often irrational, helping cushion you from the pain of loss. Depression is an expected manifestation of grief. Signs include agitation, guilt or sadness, lack of focus, and decreased energy.
- Acceptance: The final stage of grief is accepting the loss. Instead of denying or trying to negotiate, you accept the reality of the miscarriage. When you get to a place of acceptance, healing can start.
6. Avoid Escaping Your Emotions
You may want to escape your negative emotions. Be mindful of the following:
- Avoid using substances: After a traumatic event like a miscarriage, substances that offer an escape can tempt you. Women with postpartum depression may use alcohol or drugs to numb their emotions.
- Limit stressful situations: You should surround yourself with people who support you, but try not to over-commit. Take time out from social or work obligations to focus on your healing.
- Create a space to be yourself: Create a safe space for yourself, whether at home, in your garden or elsewhere. A calm environment can help you process your emotions. You may want to journal or simply sit in silence.
7. Create a Memory Ritual
Healing from the pain of a miscarriage doesn’t mean forgetting your loss. You may want to honor the pregnancy through a ritual or celebration. Initiatives like Untold Stories Maryland support those who have experienced pregnancy loss.
Memory rituals can include:
- Writing a letter to your lost child.
- Planting a tree in their name.
- Creating a memory box with mementos from your pregnancy.
- Arranging a ceremony with family and friends to acknowledge the loss.
8. Be Patient with Yourself
There’s no “right” way to grieve. Everyone’s journey is different — what works for someone else may not work for you. Accept that healing from a miscarriage takes time.
It’s natural to have ups and downs as you progress. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate the small victories, whether getting out of bed in the morning or allowing yourself to laugh again.
Healing Is Possible After Miscarriage
The tips may help you navigate postpartum depression after a miscarriage, or you may find other ways that work for you. Everyone’s journey is unique. However you choose to heal, the important thing is to try. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion and love.
Remember — healing doesn’t mean you forget your loss. You are simply allowing yourself to live again.
Beth Rush is the mindfulness editor at Body+Mind. She writes about mental health during pregnancy and beyond. She also shares tips for coping with c-PTSD, PCOS, and climate anxiety. Subscribe to the Body+Mind Newsletter for more posts by Beth.