The postpartum period is a time of immense change. Body image after having a baby is a huge issue for many women. Not only are you usually larger than your pre-baby self, your body is just configured “differently”. The transition to motherhood is both beautiful and challenging. Unfortunately, body image is often one fo the challenges. Read more for ways to cope with body image after having a baby.
Body Image vrs Body Shame
We all have a body image. SImply put, it is how we internally envision how our body appears externally. Body shame is when we feel bad about our body. For women in Maryland (or anywhere in the USA!), we are subjected to a lot of images and ideas about how our body should look. This leads to feelings of inadequacy.
Body Image After Having a Baby
Body image after having a baby can be particularly fraught. A new mom’s body experiences both external and internal changes. For example, it’s not just extra weight, but perhaps pain or dysfunction from pregnancy or the birth process. Couple this with unrealistic expectations, and new moms are set up for body shame.
Societal Expectations
How many times have you heard: “Just breast feed and the weight comes off” or “You’ll be back to yourself in no time”. Well, any mom can tell you that is simply not true! In fact, many women find lactating keeps weight on. In theory, it should lead to weight loss but not for everyone. Furthermore, sleep deprivation that accompanies all new motherhood but is especially bad and prolonged for breastfeeding moms changes your hunger and satiety hormones. This results in more intense food cravings and less sense of being full.
Images of celebrity new moms like Princess Kate do not help! Hello, she had a full makeup and wardrobe team to assist her before leaving the hospital, most likely. The photos were slightly more realistic for her second child in which they did actually show her post- baby bump. Her SIL did not shy away from rocking her post pregnancy bump.
Lack of Control
How we gain weight during and after pregnancy is radically different from how we do in other phases of life. For example, I gained 40lbs with my first pregnancy. However it was all between my breasts and hips. In non pregnancy life, I normally gain just in my lower half and keep a slim waist. This felt very new to me. Furthermore, the exercise and eating we may have done pre pregnancy may not be appropriate or effective postpartum.
This is assuming we even have the time to exercise! Caring for a newborn is a 24 hour job. Furthermore, new moms typically are not getting more than a couple of hours of sleep at any stretch. This leaves little energy for exercise. It leaves even less time for healthy meal prep. So, we not only lack control over our body but our ability to care for ourselves.
Help for Body Shame After Having a Baby
So what can you do? I’m not a huge fan of “body positivity” because for many women, it feels inauthentic. Instead, consider body acceptance. In other words, this is how my body is now. This takes out the struggle of forcing yourself to feel a certain way. Additionally, we can look at what our body does that we do like.
Steps for Body Acceptance
Let go of old expectations. Even if your weight returns to pre baby, your body may be shaped differently. Invest in clothes that fit you now and you feel great in! If you are on a budget, check out local thrift sites and facebook swaps. You probably don’t need a lot of outfits. Get one or two good bottoms and a few tops that work. I’m a huge fan of dresses– a complete outfit also takes out the mental load.
Move in ways that feel good, not necessarily burn a lot of calories. Stretching is so important as a newborn will put you in weird positions. Experiment, now is the time to engage in things that improve your mood and interest. Also, be flexible–you may not have time for an hour workout three times a week. However, maybe ten minute sprints are fun or just do a few sun salutations daily.
Lastly, change your script. You may not love your body. However, there are things your body did, you do love. For example, you made a human!!! What else do you like (if love is too strong a word?). Are you strong? Have beautiful skin?
Many women struggle with body image after having a baby. You are not alone. However, you don’t have to feel so bad. Start blocking out societal expectations, move and nourish your body in ways that feel good. Dress to impress yourself and change your script. Most importantly, give yourself some self compassion!
About the Author: Sharon P. Fisher is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and founder of Nurtured Well, a boutique women’s mental health practice in Towson, MD.
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